The Crossover Big Time
by iLOLlotz
Summary: In the glitch of the Pirates of the Caribbean 2 DVD, Captain Jack Sparrow is on a minivoyage to find a treasure of great value. He meets some...interesting and unlikely characters along the way...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: We do not own anything about whatever it is that we end up deciding to write about!!!**

**Author's Note: What should our story be called, and what should we write about? This is the frame of mind used for our story, isn't it great? As I type these words, I still don't even know what the story will be, Just consider this an improvisation! Oh, and this story is co-authored by iLOLlotz and Torilei, perhaps you have heard of her! Our thoughts are in brackets like a commentary of a movie. This whole story takes place in a glitch in the Pirates of the Caribbean 2 DVD. (So the next time you watch that and your DVD stops, you'll know what is happening…) **

**The Crossover (Big Time)**

**Chapter One**

**There was a day in time when worlds collided. This fateful day was between the worlds of real life, and fantasy, cartoon, and livelihood. No one knew how it came to be, but we only have a true account of what happened… it was very scary…**

**The volume of the sound was almost unbearable, the cracking thunder and the rain pouring down. The ship creaked, but there were no sounds of the crew working, no. This ship's captain was so experienced that he didn't even need a crew. It was 90 feet of ship piloted by one lone pirate, who had crossed the seven seas, stolen vast treasures, and defeated countless sea monsters. His name was Captain Jack Sparrow. iLOLlots: theme song plays Torilei: That's an awesome song!**

**As the storm drew on, the Black Pearl was tossed to and fro among the thrashing waves. It was as if the ocean was being stirred into a well blended oceanic smoothie. Torilei: I want a smoothie! iLOLlots: it would be kinda salty Anyway, Captain Jack Sparrow was actually contemplating whether he should go get more rum when an enormous wave came over the ship, smashing down on the deck. With the wave, came the first thing in a series of events that would change the course of history. On the deck, was a fish. Yes, a fish. **

"**Where am I? Where are they?" the fish was in a crisis.**

**Captain Jack Sparrow didn't answer. Maybe the rum was getting the best of him. Fish didn't talk the last time he checked. But this fish looked different. It was a three dimensional computer animated fish, and of course, he didn't even know what exactly computer animation was. He was in a doozy.**

"**More rum…" said he.**

"**I have short term memory loss sir, SIR! Where am I? Where's Fabio?" **

"**More rum…" **

"**You know I can speak whale!!!" the fish would not stay quiet.**

**Captain Jack Sparrow spun on his heel and headed toward the fish. "Say something to convince me that you aren't a rum-sical delusion…"**

"**Ummm…have you seen Elmo? I need to find him and bring him to his dad!" the blue fish was in a state.**

"**What is your name?" he thought he would play along. It isn't every day that you talk to a computer animated fish.**

"**Dory, at least that's what I think it was. Hmm," she brought her front fin to her chin, if a fish has a chin, deep in thought, "I think that's what they called me…."**

**Captain Jack Sparrow stared at the computer animated fish in disbelief. **

"**Help, HELP!!!" Dory was gasping, "I can't breathe, help me out here."**

**Captain Jack quickly got his jar of dirt and emptied it. There was no use for it anymore because there was a glitch in the DVD… He picked up the computer animated fish, and dropped her in. He watched her happily swim to and fro, effortlessly gliding around. **

"**You're a life saver!" Dory exclaimed, "And what is your name?" **

"**Captain Jack Sparrow."**

"**Pleased to meet you Jack!" Dory stuck her fin out of the jar as if to shake hands. **

**Captain Jack accepted the gesture and shook her fin between his two fingers. It was quite odd… **

"**CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow" **

**Dory pulled her fin back and sank to the bottom of the jar. She began to cry.**

"**Oh no, you're sensitive too? As long as you're on my ship, you're under my command." Captain Sparrow said, "Stop crying."**

"**I'm sorry Captain Marrow" Dory sobbed wiping away her tears with her fin.**

**Captain Jack sighed, this would be a long voyage. **

"**Now, perhaps you can put yourself to good use," Captain Jack told her, "you got yourself on this ship, if you help me you can go back to the ocean.." **

**He saw Dory nodding at him so he continued, "I am trying to find a treasure of great value." **

"**Ohhh, OOOOO! Pick me! Pick ME!" **

"**Yes, Dory, you are the only one here."**

"**Phew!"**

"**Anyway, I can't find it because I have dropped my compass into the depths of the sea…"**

"**Well why didn't you say so? I will just swim down and go get it!" Dory proceeded to bolt to the bottom of the jar, smacking her head on the glass at the bottom, "I will wait until I am in the sea first…"**

"**That is a good idea, so long as you don't forget what you are looking for half way down. You see, this compass is important. Everyone thinks it is broken but it can tell you what you want the most, unless what you want the most is not the most wanted for you to desire."**

"**Yeahh… no" Dory was confused, she was not used to her captain's wordy rants. "Explain again please."**

"**Never mind," Jack Sparrow said, " More rum.."**

**As he set Dory down on a ledge, the ship swayed back and forth. Dory swam around in her jar perfectly content, not even remembering where she was or what she was doing. **

**To be continued…**

**Author's Note: Well, it's a start, but you can tell a mishap is going to happen. R and R pleaseeee!!!! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: We don't own anything from Pirates of the Caribbean or any of the other movies that we're going to throw in!**

**A/N: That first chapter was fun to write! I wonder what we're going to think of next! This should be VERY interesting! Seriously, we've got no idea! Um… yeah. Here's chapter two! NOTE by Torilei: I SO got the first sentence from an All State commercial, lol!**

**Chapter Two**

**Suddenly… nothing happened. Jack Sparrow came back up on deck with a new bottle of rum and he saw that Dory was still where he had left her. These are the words we wish we could type. Really, there was no rum left in the cellar. This we will not dwell on, however, for it will only make Captain Jack all the more furious…**

**Dory smiled her impossibly huge smile when she saw him. "Hey, Captain Black Pharaoh!" she called. "I haven't seen you in days!"**

"**Hardly." Captain Jack muttered, looking away as he mumbled incoherently. **

"**Oh, what's wrong, Mr. Grumpy Gills?" Dory asked.**

"**The rum! It's gone!" Jack exclaimed, "Why is the rum always gone?"**

"**I'm sorry but I don't know what that is." Dory said bluntly as she proceeded to glide around in her jar while singing, "Just keep swimming…. What can we do, we swim, swim…LA LA LA LA LA LA I LOVE TO SWIMMM-!"**

"**Slam your gills shut!" Jack ordered, thoroughly annoyed and soaked to the bone with the rain that continued to come pouring on the deck.**

**Dory continued humming.**

**Captain Jack Sparrow wondered where to look next, he needed that compass. "Where could my compass be?" he said more to himself than to any particular computer animated fish.**

"**Ohh! A compass? I've seen one of those not too long ago!" Dory exclaimed, "It was over there, no, over there!!!" Dory was pointing around with her fins excitedly, making the water in the jar stir. iLOLlots: like a smoothie**

"**Why didn't you say so?" Captain Jack leapt up drunkenly to talk to Dory. "Where?"**

**She was still circling her fins around and around. Apparently, any specific direction would go undecided for now…**

"**If you put me in the water, I bet I can find it!" Dory exclaimed, clapping her fins together.**

**Captain Jack Sparrow thought. There was not really any other use for her at the present, and maybe it could give him some more alone time in the glitch of this DVD. After all, he wasn't in the best of moods right now… "How can I trust you?" he asked, looking at the computer animated fish suspiciously. "How will I know that you won't run away?"**

"**You can trust me!" she exclaimed.**

**Captain Jack couldn't help but think that she would probably return to the ship because she would forget that she was being held captive anyway. That was a bonus. There was nothing to loose, "Okay, you can go…"**

"**Yippeee!!!" Dory shouted, "I'm goin' on a mission, I'm goin' on a mission!!! Thank you Commander Slack Pyro!"**

"**Wow…" he said, unsnapping the lid from the jar, "there you go! Good luck bringing back my compass!" He saluted her as he dumped her into the choppy waves.**

**She saluted back, saying, "I won't let you down, Maptain!"**

"**There is something wrong with you…"he muttered to himself. He looked over the side of the ship into the water to find that the little computer animated fish was already gone.**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Dory swam sleekly through the water. She needed to find the compass before the glitch in the DVD ended. Reader, remember how fast this story goes because it really takes place in only a few seconds…it is like fast forward…However, she didn't know how fast she had to swim in order to complete this task. **

**As she swam farther into the depths of the sea, she realized that she was right in the area that she had seen the compass before. Then, she saw something shiny at the ocean floor in the sand. She darted downward. It was the compass! Dory went to pick up the compass in her mouth when something hit her. It was an enormous creature. **

"**Woah, who are you mister?" Dory called out. Fear of gigantic and monstrous creatures was obviously not in her vocabulary as staring down at her was the Kraken.**

"**I am the Kraken," the fearsome beast answered in a hurried way, "I would kill you and break your bones with my tentacles before eating you eyeballs first… but I have to get somewhere. The glitch just ended and the DVD has moved on! I am late on my cue!"**

"**Oh boy!!! Added suspense when you arrive late!" Dory exclaimed, her mood not even swayed in the least bit even after hearing about how she would be demolished.**

"**I have to go demolish the Black Pearl! My master wants to kill Captain Jack Sparrow!"**

"**Oh! Cool! That name sounds…. Familiar.. I don't know where I have heard that before…" Dory thought, and while she was thinking, the Kraken disappeared. Now I am not just talking about swimming fast, I mean disappeared, literally, for he had just gone on a jump from real life to the digital world. As he demolished the Black Pearl, he couldn't help but think how odd Dory had looked, being computer animated and all…**

**Clamping the compass in her mouth, Dory swam back to the surface where the Black Pearl had been. She was startled to see that it was no longer there, being that she was not involved in this odd glitch in the DVD.**

"**OOOhhhhhh, no." **

**To be continued…**

**A/N: R & R please! Tell us how this second installment was!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: We do not own any of the characters or anything else in the story that we have compiled… too bad…**

**A/N: This story has been interesting. We love writing this though because we like to say that it is really creative even though they aren't our characters. Thank you for reading on, it will be rewarded with yet another bundle of laughs!!!**

**Chapter Three**

**Amidst the crashing waves, Dory had no idea where to go. The ship along with its strange captain was nowhere to be found. Now, she was stuck in the middle of the sea, holding a very heavy compass. Whatever would she do? With as little wit as she had, she knew that she needed to give it to someone before she forgot what it was and who she needed to give it to.**

**Just when she thought all hope was lost, which it pretty much was, a ship with white sails appeared out of the fog. **

"**Hey! Hey!" Dory called out, "Over Here!" **

"**What was that, Sir Lancelot?" said a man who looked like a significant figure.**

"**It looks like a talking, computer animated fish," the man who must have been Lancelot answered, "though we don't know what computers are. The word just… struck me like a knight wielding his sword."**

"**Well, how else would you describe it?" the significant figure asked. "Blue?"**

"**Um, Arthur. It IS blue." Lancelot said.**

"……**.. I knew that." Arthur replied. Then, he turned his attention to Dory. "You there, how do you call yourself?"**

"**Yes, I am doing well, thanks!" Dory waved, not understanding the Old English.**

"**No, how do you call yourself, oh computer animated friend?" King Arthur said, a bit frustrated.**

"**Dory?" she shrugged, "and I was looking for Fabio, but now I have this compass and I am supposed to give it to Commander Mack Birdo."**

"**And who in the seven seas of the highest class in England is that?" asked King Arthur, quite at a loss of words.**

"**A pirate who has a ship…" Dory trailed off, "a big one!"**

"**My lord," Lancelot commented, "we do need to get a move on…"**

"**Hush, and let this odd computer animated fish have a chance to speak her mind," the king mumbled, "since when can fish talk anyway, but then again, what is computer animation? Maybe it is something to be discovered one day…"**

"**Ma'am?" Dory was shouting, "I need to give you this before I forget what it is, I have short term memory loss!"**

"**How dare you insult my royal splendor!" the king was appalled, "With an insult like that, you may just have to summon a whale in order to get me to carry anything for your name sake."**

"**Ooo, ooooh! I speak whale!!!" Dory yelled.**

**By this time all the crew of King Arthur's ship was watching to see the cause for all the ruckus. They were, of course, sighing when they only found a small computer animated fish… but they kept watching intently to see what their king would do.**

"**You know it was but a mere figure of speech, but I guess if you want, it will be a challenge of great value to you, such as a jousting tournament is to a knight." King Arthur was laughing inside. **

"**Ccooommee ttooo DDddddoorrrrrrrryy!" Dory sounded like she was having a major medical problem, a melodious medical problem.**

**The people on deck watched and waited… and waited… and waited…**

"**Accept my condolences oh Dory, but we must move on." Sir Lancelot was speaking, "Now what were we going to do next-?"**

**Just then, by shear happenstance, a humpback whale breached about ten feet away from the ship. They all watched in awe as the water sprayed up and enveloped the mystical creature. Most of the crew had never imagined anything like this in their wildest dreams.**

"**She must be a saint!" a crew member said.**

"**This is truly a miracle from the Lord!" said another.**

"**Holy Crap!" said another.**

"**Dory, oh saint of the sea!" King Arthur was speaking, "I am King Arthur, and this is my best friend Sir Lancelot, and we will be honored to carry that holy compass of yours."**

"**Wow, really?" Dory was dumbfounded, "Thanks!" **

"**Lancelot, send a man down in an escape boat to collect the precious item." The king said.**

**Soon enough, Dory was relieved of the broken compass. Her jaw actually hurt quite badly. "Ahh, that's nice! Oh, and who should I tell the pirate to look for? He will need to find that."**

"**Oh, of course, tell him I am King Arthur, leader of the Knights of the Round Table. He will know who I am if he is of any significance whatsoever."**

"**Okay, King Arthur, some knights, sure thing!" Dory waved her fin and ducked back under the water, leaving everyone on deck to ponder their encounter with a computer animated fish.**

**To be continued… (in the next glitch in the DVD)**

**A/N: Sorry, we didn't comment on this chapter, but we left it for you to do! R&R please! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer****: We don't own anything… **

**Author's Note****: Well, whatever happens in this chapter is purely out of thin air, as has been the rest of this story. Sorry that it has taken so long to publish this next installment.**

_**Chapter 4**_

**The air was cold as ice and he could see his breath in the air. All this scrambling about for seemingly nothing had become his way of life. Running here and there on the icy tundra was all he had ever known, and he never imagined anything else. Of course there had been that time when he had met the oddest "herd" there ever was or ever will be. All he had to do now for the time being was to find his precious acorn. The only problem was that he was on a small plate of ice that was in the middle of the open ocean. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Captain Jack Sparrow was...**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**As Dory swam…**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"**THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!!! IT…"**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

…**Lord Voldemort raised his wand…**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**There was a map on the back of the Declaration of Independence!**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

…**wondering what had just happened. A moment ago, he had been standing in front of the most fearsome beast of the sea, sword at the ready, waiting for the right time to dramatically leap into its mouth. **

**But now, Captain Jack found himself once again on his Black Pearl with no one else on it! Those darned DVD glitches! He found himself with quite the headache. As a result of this glitch, he saw something about some odd-looking computer animated fish, a song blaring over a rock, some old geezer of a wizard with a stick in his hand like a stupid oaf, and some hidden map on the back of a piece of paper. Not exactly what you would call normal…**

**Anyway, he had forgotten everything. That is, he never had been here before. If you asked him, he would not know who Dory was, or what he had sent her to do. He actually was wondering where his compass was. **

**As he pondered this strange scenario, he heard a strange combination of shrieks, squeals and sniffs coming from the water on the side of the ship. He hurriedly strode to the corresponding side of the Black Pearl to see what in the seven seas it was. What he saw was quite strange indeed…**

**There, sitting on a slab of ice, was an ancient squirrel with saber-tooth teeth, if that's what you want to describe them as. This ancient squirrel was, nonetheless, computer animated in high definition, and if the sun reflected on him at a certain angle, you could almost see the pixels in him! **

**At once, this high definition, computer animated, pixilated, ancient, saber-toothed, bushy-tailed, wide-eyed, squealing squirrel looked upon Captain Jack with a look of desiring an acorn. How he knew this, he would never know. (Torilei: If he wasn't mad enough already…) **

**(iLOLlotz: I'm gonna go grab some fruit snacks. You want some? It has a picture of Dory on it!) **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**And with that, Dory came swimming out of the "Finding Nemo" fruit snacks package. "I gotta go find Maptain Tap Tarot!" she exclaimed to us as we narrate this story. (Torilei: I said this a while back, but this has to be the most random of our chapters yet!) Then, we turned the T.V. on and put on the "Pirates of the Caribbean 2" DVD and told her that we could find him in the glitch in there.**

"**Thanks, guys!" Dory said happily, plunging into the depths of the T.V. screen. There, she saw a kinda familiar looking ship on the horizon. She had found him.**

**Author's Note****: Well, there's the end of our most random chapter yet! R and R please!!!!!!!!**


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